I bet he comes in French.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
