He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
