I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We don't watch enough power rangers
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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