did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize