well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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