you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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