Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
