I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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