Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
