I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize