I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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