How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
