I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
where does the pee come out of this thing
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
