So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
