I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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