He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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