I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
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Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
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I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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