actually, I'm a sock model
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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