This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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