The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
