If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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