Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
