I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
