do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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