It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
