so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
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