Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
