stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
