She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
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