in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize