NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
