...so i touched it.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
