I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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