It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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