Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
