honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
