Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
