Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
