Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
