I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
