If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize