like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
God I need to hump something, right now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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