just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
