ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
