Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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