What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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