he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
