I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
