no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she smelled like a LAN party
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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