I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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