This girl is more easily done than said...
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
