your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
