i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
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I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
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While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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