i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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