At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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