You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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