I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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