Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
